Another one joins the team!

Teaching first grade has taught me that the Gospel really is offensive to all of those who are not saved.  It’s been interesting to see, even though they are small, first graders who aren’t Christians have the same exact response to the Gospel as adults.  Every day in Bible class I look and see five kids, uninterested, totally glazed over.  I’ve heard, “I hate Bible class” about everyday.  Not Math, Reading, or Science.  Just Bible.  I’ve wondered if I am just bad at Bible teaching, but I’m convinced that the problem is the very essence of what I teach.  It’s never easy to hear “You are a sinner and need to repent and get saved,” even as a kid.  One of them however, has been totally engaged.

I talked to another teacher about the situation a few weeks ago and she asked me if I’d ever talked to the girl.  Well, no…  And to be honest, I just didn’t know how.  Her parents are outspokenly traditional, and she will often come to school telling me about how she was up late at a ceremony.  I feel annoyed when it happens, because her parents know what we believe.  Don’t they know I’m not okay with it?  How am I supposed to talk to a six year old, and tell her that what her parents have told her is wrong, and what I’m saying is right?  I’ve not had great interaction with parents in general this year, it just didn’t seem as easy as “talk to her.”

Wednesday the guilt got to be too much.  We were talking about the Crucifixion story.  I looked into this girl’s big brown eyes, misty with sadness, hanging on every word I said.  I had to talk to her.  So I asked her to stay for a minute during recess to talk to me.  When I asked her if she’d ever thought about asking God to forgive her sins and become a Christian, she smiled wide and responded, “I already have!”

I was stunned.  I asked her when it happened.  She said earlier this school year, when she was alone in her room at her house.  She started to tear up and of course, so did I.  We talked a little more and I realized that she wasn’t intrigued by my great (or not so great) teaching, or simply thinking about getting saved.  She was fascinated because she already was!  And her natural response was to soak it all up.

And then I realized my huge mistake- Somehow I thought it mattered what I said, as if her salvation was dependent on me.  I spent weeks stressed over what to say, feeling totally inadequate as a teacher and a failure as a missionary.  (Because missionaries just know how to share the Gospel without feeling dumb, right??)  It didn’t matter at all what I said.  The Holy Spirit was already doing his thing.  Somehow we assume missions means saving people, and what I thought was humility was really my arrogance.  God doesn’t want me to do His job, just be obedient.  We don’t have to worry what to say, God’s already written it on their heart.  We just have to love people enough to get over our fears.